Star4Jesus wrote:
I am really confused about everything, I have this overwhelming sadness that is consuming me. Last night I was having constant nightmares of hell, Satan, and my Dad dying. I also had this fear of being completely alone and not having no one to comfort me. I feel completely helpless the only person who understands me and I hid nothing from is ignoring me. I can feel myself changing as a Christian, but I feel like I am losing my only chance at life and love. I pray constantly but I still feel like I am losing everything. I wish I knew what God is doing in my life so I will not feel so confused. Can you please pray that I have clarity.
Hi Star4Jesus,
May the Lord God continue to Bless and keep you.
The fear of being completely alone, with no one to comfort you. My friend, most of the people in the world has been there at one time or another in their life. Including my own. Many are still there and will be there till the day that they die. Most of us hide that very well, putting on a good front in front of others.
To walk that road blindly, to cry with great sobs because a stranger shows us a bit of kindness. To know absolutely that there is no one in the world who cares if we live or die, if we are sick or well, have food in our belly or is starving, have a place out of the rain or are being soaked, is a terrible feeling.
To know that Jesus Loves US. To feel that Love wash over us. To cry great tears when we finally realize that true love that Jesus has for us, that HE loves us unconditionally. That we really are NOT Alone, that we have someone walking with us, someone who does care if we have food, and shelter. Who does care if we are sick or well. I remember well that day, the day that I looked in a mirror and saw myself as I am. And then to realize that Jesus really does love me, Loves me just as I am. That he is not just a name, but is a real person who loves me, who cares about me. That day I cried great tears, tears of Joy. For I felt so alone before that.
Do I know what will happen to me in the future? No, for unless Jesus chooses to tell us a little tiny bit of what is ahead of us, we will never know until we do reach heaven. To really know what lies ahead of us could lift us up, but it also could drive us to such despair as to destroy us. It is best that we do not know what lies ahead of us, what our path is to be on this earth.
I picked up a hitchhiker one day, a young man of 19 years of age, to find that he was traveling south so that he might survive the winter. His story is one to break my heart. He was in an accident while riding in his parents car, in the back seat, his parents sitting up front. Both of his parents were killed in that accident, and he spent over 3 month in the hospital. And when discharged from the hospital, found that he was evicted from the home that they had all lived in. That his clothing and personal belongs had been thrown out on the street, and were either destroyed while laying out in the weather or had been stolen. So that he gathered together what few things that he had left into one suitcase, then found that no one would help him, no one would give him food, so he ate out of garbage cans, slept in doorways. And when it started getting cold, he started moving south. So that he testified when I picked him up, that earlier that day he had gotten a ride with two men who then beat him severely, his head was cut and bleeding, his face turning black and blue, and that they stole the few possessions that he had left and threw him out of their car while they were still moving. All that he had left was the clothes on his back, and was thankful that he had that much left to him. As he told me this story his voice cracked and the tears rolled down his face. This was a man who was truly alone. For at that time neither one of us has Jesus Christ with us. Oh I know, Jesus was with us, just waiting for us to turn to him. That young man said his only hope was to reach the deep south so that he did not freeze to death during the winter. All that I could do was to give him a ride and a few dollars to help him.
But for one twist of the future, that could be me, or you. And we ask why God will let this happen. But now I know that there is always a reason why God allows such suffering. We do not know what those reasons are, and is best if we just place our trust in Our Lord God Almighty to carry us through to a better place and a better time somewhere in the future.
I have asked myself, and still ask myself. Did that young man suffer that way so that I could be taught a lesson?? I do not know. Is what I go through a means for someone else to be taught a lesson? Is it all so that by our suffering that even one other person may be brought to the salvation of the Lord God? I would like to believe so.
What I do know is that no matter how much suffering that I may go through on this earth, and as I lay there suffering such physical pain that I cried out to the Lord God Jesus Christ for relief, the Lord has told me that I will suffer even more than that physically sometime in the future, but that I would never ever suffer as much as Jesus Christ did. And I knew instantly when the Lord told me this, that it is absolutely true. Even at that time I was crying out to God for relief from pain as I screamed in pain.
I look back and still feel the pain I felt of being alone with no one to love me, when I was a young man leaving home and searching for someone, anyone, to care for me, to love me. At 17 years old I was looking for a wife who would love me. I know the loneliness that Star4Jesus feels, and I thank the Holy Lord God Jesus Christ that HE gave me someone who loves me, and He did so many, many years before I came to him. And now I have even so very much more Love showered down on me, the Love of Jesus Christ. And I will never be alone again.
And I know that I will never again feel that terrible pain of being all alone, for Now I have Jesus walking with me, and I now know how very much that HE Loves me, and will never leave me.
