Deliverance



My Testimony by Tom Sprague

Someone out there may need to hear how God delivered me from suicide. I don't think it matters how or what brought us to the point of suicide, but there is a way out. I wrote this several years ago, and it testifies to Gods working in my life. The God, who works all things after the counsel of His will, chose to stay my hand from suicide. Jesus is a wonderful Lord and Savior! He is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother! The following is a maze of events that will boggle the mind and, I hope, will reach many that are on the verge of giving up on life without God and without hope. One of the strongest things in the world is the human will. When we lose our will to live, we lose everything.

This is my story, a man who lost his will to live. My name is Thomas Sprague, and in Feb. 1975 my life was never to be the same again. But first I will give a brief summary of my life up until that time. I am the oldest of eight children, seven boys and one girl. We lived in Starboard, Maine until I was seven and then we moved to Bridgeport, Conn. until I was twelve. Then we moved back to Starboard. During my high school years I began to drink and smoke cigarettes. I quit high school in my junior year. It wasn't long before I received my draft notice from uncle Sam. Two years were spent in the Army. One yr. in the States and one yr. in Viet Nam. During this time I was drinking more and more. I was an alcoholic but I wouldn't admit it. Alcohol will strip you of your self esteem and will eventually destroy you. When I was 22, I married a girl whose life was as troubled as mine. A year later we had a baby girl. During this time I was a self employed clam digger and made very little money. In the summer the money was good, but the winter months were very hard. There was never much food around, but I always made sure I had beer and cigarettes. This brings me to February 1975, at which time my life took a very strange twist. How far will God go to save those that He has chosen? It is my hope and prayer that God will convince you that what He has done for me, He will do for you. When all your relatives and friends step out, God will step in! One night in February, around nine o'clock, while I was laying in bed, a strange thing happened. I began having hot flashes through my head and my heart began racing out of control. My wife was in the living room at the time. I told her what was happening. My thought was, "I am going to die and I don't want to." We got in our car and went to my mothers house. During this time my heart was still racing out of control. My mother called our family doctor in East Machias, Dr. Karl Larson. He told her that I should take two aspirin and go to bed. it was about one o'clock in the morning before my heart slowed down and began to beat normally. After this it was like I was living under a cloud of depression. I began not caring whether I lived or died. A short while later I went on my last drunk. One morning after drinking heavily the night before, I couldn't believe what I saw in the mirror. It was like looking at an animal, and I said, "what are you? Some kind of animal or what? From then on I drank no more booze, and began going to AA meetings. They kept telling me at AA that my life would get better, since I had quit drinking. Boy, were they wrong! I continued to remain depressed and nothing meant anything to me. This went on for about six months.

Then one day my mother said, "Why don't you go to church with me tonight?" I always thought that church was for old ladies and people who had nothing else to do. Yet my reply to her was, "why not? I have tried everything else." The church my mother attended met in an old Grange Hall, and there were about 20 people there that night. The Pastor talked about Jesus, and said that Jesus could give anyone a brand new life. At the end of the service he asked if anyone would like to come down front and ask Jesus into their heart. At that time I went down front, got down on my knees and asked Jesus to come into my heart and give me a new life. When I got up I told the Pastor that I didn't feel any different. He said, "Tom, you aren't saved because you feel saved. You are saved by trusting in Jesus." Hearing this made me feel much better. He also told me how the Holy Spirit would lead me and help me. A week or so later, while laying in bed one night, I said, "Lord, I have made such a mess out of everything. Holy Spirit come in and take over." At this time I heard a voice that said, Jesus, in both ears. Directly following the voice was the sound of a jet plane cruising at 30,000 feet. It entered the top of my head and proceeded down, down, down. As it went down it felt like a syringe needle was being driven into my brain. It was very, very painful. After this experience strange things began to happen. The depression got heavier and I began hearing and seeing different things. One night in church we were singing a hymn, bar room music began playing in my head. I looked around but I was the only one that heard it. It only lasted a few seconds and went away. Then once while I was reading the Bible, all the words went squiggly on me. On a different occasion, at night, I was almost asleep when someone or something screamed inside my head. Another night, while laying in bed, it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I lifted one arm and said, "Jesus, Lord!" The second I said Lord, It lifted. On another occasion, late one night, I heard something thrown hard, at the kitchen wall. Our bedroom door was partially open and there was a dim light in the hall. I knew that something was coming down the hall toward our room. Psalm 34:7 came to my mind, which says, "The Angel of the Lord encamps around those that fear Him, and rescues them in time of trouble." I spoke this psalm out and said, "stick your head out devil, and the Angel of the Lord will take care of you!" At that moment I saw a shadow on the wall, and I spoke that psalm again. It disappeared and I fell asleep. I want to say here, that at no time did my wife hear or see anything. On yet another occasion, also at night, I was praying on my hands and knees, and I sensed little creatures come into my room and surround me. As I was praying, I could clearly see Jesus hanging on a cross, suspended in mid air. I was telling Him over and over how sorry I was for the rotten things I had done through my life. This continued until daylight, at which time the little creatures left. Below our house there is a little island about as big as a football field. One can get to it by walking across a beach with waterworn rocks. One night I felt strongly led, to go to that little island, so down I went. There was no moon, and I could just barely make out the island. As I walked across the beach rocks, I could hear someone walking several yards behind me. When I stopped, it would stop. Who do I think it was? There was no doubt in my mind...it was the devil! I kept repeating psalm 34:7, which I shared with you earlier. I went on the island and walked completely around it. Just before I walked back onto the beach there was a big spruce tree, with branches hanging low. At that moment, one branch just above my head, shook fiercely. I felt the hair stand up on my neck and I quoted psalm 34:7 again. Once more Satan had confronted me, and I had stopped him by using the Word of God.

It was at this time that things got really crazy. I got up one morning , with the noise of that plane still in my head, feeling very depressed. I told my wife I was going to the store to get some milk, and that I would be right back. I lied to her. I had no intention of going to the store. I was going to my mothers house and take a gun out of the closet and blow my head off. When I got there, there was no one home. As I got out of the car, I looked up and the sky was filled with planes. Car horns were honking all over town and I could hear sonic booms going off everywhere. I said to myself, "this is it. It is the end or the world. It is all over." I went into the house and got the key to the gun closet, but the key wouldn't work. I drew back my fist and was about to break the glass when the Lord touched me. I began to cry and say, "what will my mother think if she finds me laying in a pool of blood? and, I thought, "this will surely kill my wife." The devil wanted me bad, but the Lord said NO! I went back home and told my wife what had happened. I told her to get me an appointment with our doctor, so that he could get me into the mental hospital in Bangor, Maine. I told her that I had to do this because I was afraid of what I would do to myself. We went to the doctor and I explained what was going on. At that time he made arrangements with the mental hospital. About half way to the hospital, I began to go numb all over and I was losing my memory. We were close to a regular hospital and I told my wife to get me there quick! We went to the emergency room and I explained my troubles to the doctor. I told him that I thought my brain was going to be crushed, due to the tremendous pressure upon it. I told him we were on our way to the mental hospital in Bangor. He told me that there was nothing he could do and that I should go to the mental hospital in Bangor. When we go there, I signed myself in. They led me upstairs to one of the wards and assured me that a doctor would come soon and give me a shot. They told me that he should be here at any moment. I really thank the Lord that He held the doctor up, because if he had given me that shot, I would probably still be there. A couple of hours later, I began to go numb again, and I felt the plane inside my head was going to leave and take me with it. I gave away all my money and all my cigarettes. At this point, even the patients thought I was crazy! I wrote a note to my wife saying that I wanted her to marry a christian guy and raise the kids in a christian home. I had no idea that the Lord had me in mind for that. Where is she, I kept asking myself, why doesn't she come? In those places the doors lock as soon as you enter. When someone came in, I grabbed the door and hurried out to find my wife. My body was still numb and I kept thinking the plane was ready to leave, but I had to say goodbye to my wife. Her mother lived about two miles from there and I hoped that she would be there. With every step it felt like I would collapse in the gutter. As soon as I reached my mother-in-laws, I explained what had happened. I began to pray, and had a picture of the Lord in my mind. The plane fired a missile and shot the picture out of my mind. Then I went ice cold. I told my wife that I didn't love her or anyone. There was no love in me, whatsoever! We began to sing that song that Kris Kristoferson wrote, "Why Me Lord?" At that moment I said, "Devil, If you are going to get me, I am going down singing praises to God!" That night my Pastor came up and got us and took us home. He kept telling me to trust the Lord and to stand on His promises. On the way home I could hear cars racing around us and squealing their tires and cat calling at me. No one heard this but me. A few days later my mom said, "Tom, I heard about a man on Beals island that God has used in casting demons out of people." I called him up and told him what was happening to me. He told me to read psalm 103 over and over and to believe it. He said that he would be at my mothers house at six o'clock. He was quite a guy. The first thing he said when he came through the door was, "what's for supper?" He asked me if I read psalm 103? I told him that I had. He asked me if I believed it, and I assured him that I did. He told my mom and dad not to be scared, but that he was going to get loud. He laid his hands on my head and shouted, "in the name of Jesus Christ, come out of him!" I felt a stirring deep down inside of me. I could feel them tare at my neck as they came out. I knew then that I was free. By the way, the Pastor ate supper with us and ate the biggest potato we had. My dad still jokes about him eating our biggest potato. He had a right to anything he wanted!

A few days later, while at home, I was praising the Lord, with my hands in the air, telling Him how much I loved Him and that I so wanted a touch from Him! At that moment a pitcher of pure love was poured down upon me and flowed through my whole body. All I could do was cry because I was so filled with love. I felt like I was going to be raptured out of this world, and I was truly ready to go. Awhile later, while laying in bed, my wife looked at me and asked me what was wrong? I told her that fear was circling me and wanted to come back in, but the Lord said in Hebrews 13:5 that He would never leave me nor forsake me, and I told her that I believed it. Upon saying this, the fear left and has not returned. Several weeks later my wife and I attended a concert at a local college. The singers were called the Continental Singers. They sang using voices and sign language. When we went in we had to go down a flight of stairs. After going down the stairs I told my wife that I could hear chains dragging down the stairs behind us. The devil wanted to chain me again. Yet during one of the songs, while we were all standing, with our arms stretched heavenward, I saw the most beautiful cross! It was 3- D and made up of perfect cubes. Each cube was a different color. It was the very heart of God, pulsating before my very eyes! With every thrust of Blood, it became brilliant! It has not been easy over the past years, but the word of God has not failed me once. Nor will it ever fail anyone that will but TRUST!

Tom Sprague

thanks for letting jesus beat the devil for you,for we can do nothing on our own
yours in christ mark

God bless you, Tom and thanks for sharing your testimony. It is always amazing how God can totally transform a life. I wish more people would give him a chance. Faith is not for the fainthearted!!

Susan in Colorado

Monday, February 21, 2005
6:33:00 AM EST
I do not want to share this with anyone but the Lord wants me to so...
...here goes: The following is a letter in response to a testimony and a letter sent to me from a brother in the body of Christ..I posted it on a prophecy link back on January 6, 2005:



More for you to discern!

blessings upon you from the one true GOD!!!!!!! I have read the story that is on the link you sent me. When she described the burning she felt on her skin....it is the same way with me...Just weeks after The Angel of the Lord first visited me, I had some very terrible burning all over my body. First in the hospital I was in...It was as if Satan himself was attacking me. I was told that there was no heaven but only a hell. I was told that I would have to kill my 4 children. I heard things that a person should not here from an angel...for he made me believe that I was listening to an angel from heaven. I was so scared. I thought that God made all people go to hell and it was not a place you want to be at. It got so bad that I felt paranoid all the time. I was afraid to be around my family and friends for Satan was trying to make me think that he was Jesus...yes that is right! Jesus was not like the Jesus I had come to know over the years. Some days my body would have burning spots all over my body and sometimes I would have pressure on my head so bad that I thought my skull would be crushed. One time I awoke in the middle of the night and was made to stand and I felt like there was a rope around my neck with great pressure. I was told that I could not move and I had to hold my arms out for a long time..On several occasions ( I am not proud of this) I was forced to commit suicide. I overdosed on benedryl and motrin. There were several times when I was told that I should not only be dead but there should have been damage done to several organs...I never had any damage done to my body!!!!!!! Later God revealed scripture that pertained to my situation: Mark 16:15-18. Slowly I have been healed of all the Hell that Satan put me through. God strengthened my Spirit over and over again. If I had known what I would have to suffer and God had given me the choice ahead of time to decide if I would be one of his servants I would have said no up until several months ago. But now I would say yes!!!!!!! I know God understands how I feel about it and has given me forgiveness for the sins I have committed. He loves us so much and does not want even one of his children to perish. I can not tell you what joy I felt the first time I heard the voice of Jesus...First I heard the voice just in my head and then He actually spoke through me to my husband...then I felt terrible pain when I ( Jesus) accused my husband of cheating on me the day before. I had no idea that he had done this to me....but I tell you...I did not only feel my pain but also the pain that Jesus felt. It was indescribable. (Jesus was such a comfort to me and he said that He would never leave me completely. I was told that it was going to seem like forever but that it would not be forever. I do not know for sure why Satan was aloud to be with me in the way he was...but I think God was testing me like he tested Job (look at Job 1:6 through Job 2:10). There were times when I would see visions of spirits that were angels from heaven. One thing that I understand about other visions is that they were there as a sign that I would be with them in heaven for I saw some of the 12 apostles (There is a reason that the Bible tells us that we become as the angels in Luke 20:36). Brace yourself because I am going to tell you a secret from God and that secret would astound even the most devout Christian. God revealed to me yesterday that the book of 2 John was a letter addressed to me from John himself whom God had given the fore-knowledge about me. God knew even then what he would do through me and told John about me. What an amazing discovery. Thank the Lord for the many blessings he will give to his elect.

May God send many of his righteous angels to protect and strengthen you and your loved ones,

Christine



And this is the greatest amount of my testimony:


2-24-05

My testimony on how the Lord took a hold of me



To be born-again is to be born of water…to be immersed in water and to come up as a new person…some don’t get every little spot on their body wet but that is not their intention…there intention is to be born-again as Jesus had set us an example of…It is being born again…to come out of the water…God looks at the heart as well as the action…I can not say that a person who is sprinkled is not saved…I can say that it has to be a decision that you make on your own…not have it done to you as a baby…How can a person repent as a baby and what would you have to repent for as a baby? Babies are not sinners…they come into a sinful world and when they are able to grow up and make a choice to follow Jesus then they will say that they believe that Jesus is the Son of God and they except him as their Savior and then they Repent of their sins to God and then they are baptized. I know about such things because I was baptized as an infant with a sprinkle of water. My family and I were members of a Lutheran church and we went off and on over the years and I am grateful for it gave me a belief and foundation that the Lord could build from…though it was a weak foundation it was better then no foundation at all…I was blessed to be shy and not want to go to confirmation classes because I told my mom that I did not want to go (though I don’t remember ever telling her this because I know I often wanted to but did not know how to and eventually it was forgotten about) and so she did not make me go though my older 4 siblings all went. Not going made it easier for the Lord to start fresh with my heart…I do remember one day asking my mom (I was probably 5 or so) where Jesus lived and she said “Jesus lives in your heart” and I don’t remember believing her in fact I did not ever think much about Jesus and even though I believed he was the Son of God, I did not know the importance of Jesus being the Savior. I had a hard childhood starting with when I was about 4 and new something was wrong when my dad did not come home…no he was not in an accident or anything like it…he was on a drinking binge and did not come home for several days…My dad was an alcoholic and he was addicted to gambling…so he was gone many times a year for days at a time and he would often gamble away the family money and so we learned to do with out…I remember being ok with this until I went to school and was teased about my name by a boy who was older and asked my what my middle name was…why in the world would some strange boy ask me this? I told him and that began the fear of anyone knowing my middle name…even my brother and cousins would tease me…when my mom named me she did not know that the name Gay was anything other then “Happy” and so I was always afraid that someone would find out…I was very sensitive as a child and still am today…though I am not afraid of people teasing me…I got rid of my middle name when I got married and have my maiden name as my middle name now. I was more sensitive then most and when I was about 9 I started to get severe acne…What was wrong with me…I had so many things that I was sensitive about…I was also teased unmercifully by a few of the kids about my acne for about 2 years and I am sure I missed a lot of school because of this and because of mild depression…I even was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer when I was about 11. I always was worried that something would happen to me that would be embarrassing. I remember when I was in grade school I was so upset about my dad being gone again on a drinking binge that I asked the Lord God to make my dad stay away for good. I would rather not have him there at all…my dad did not leave my family…instead my dad (who had tried to stop drinking and gambling a few different times) finally stayed committed to an A.A. program and a G.A. program. Only one time from the time I was about 16 did my dad break down and have a drink and boy did he feel guilty about this and never did it again…he even quit smoking after over 40 years of smoking over 2 packs a day. For many years I could not understand why so many painful things had to happen to me. I even had my heart broken by a few different men who all eventually cheated on me and left me. I know in my heart that God who loves us and is patient with us had a lot to do with the way my life went for he had other plans for me and plans that God has for us will not be ruined. When my Dad was based in Vietnam back before I was conceived he came upon several times when he knows he should have died and was saved…one time he told me how he felt something keep him from stepping down on what was a ground mine and if he had stepped down he would be dead and I would not be here either. It was just after he got home from Vietnam that he told my mom he wanted to try for one more baby…my mom did not and further more thought they already had one too many children…but dad got his way and 2 months after I was born he retired from the US Army and we headed back to their home from New Jersey to Washington. Though I lived in my childhood home until I was about 20 and I never stopped being what I considered a Christian, I was never given much guidance in my walk with God except I know that God was always a part of my life and I know that he influenced me to pray often .And when I was about 10 my eldest brother and his wife (who both had recently been saved) gave me my first bible…it was a children’s Bible (that I recently gave to my son) and it was an NIV Bible (I like those best) . I learned of all the many well known stories. It was a wonderful way to learn about the people who knew God and what God was like with them. I mostly read stories from the Old Testament but not much from the New Testament.
But I also read books about people in love and that made me want to find a man to love me…for I did not ever feel very loved by my parents though I know they did and do love me still. I longed for someone to show it and say it to me. My parents did not grow up in a home that demonstrated love to their children and that is what I grew up with too. The first time my parents said “I love you” to me I was getting ready to move to Florida and I Must have been about 21. I will never forget that day…and then after I had my own children I learned to say “I love you” to my parents much more often and they have learned to say it to me too. I was engaged to my first boyfriend after 3 months of dating ( and I was only 18) but he broke my heart to be with another women. I searched high and low for love and found it with a Navy man and we eventually god engaged too and he decided he did not want to be with me (but I think it was always God who did not want me to be with these men) I was never very happy with my life and would experience mild depression at least a few times a year for no reason. God was getting me ready to except Jesus and through the Lord I would be happy. All that time from 19 to 26+ I was being prayed for by my special friend who’ mother was born on Christmas day…she got breast cancer in the 80’s and died and then after going to college my friend came up to the area that I lived. When we met I had been working at a pre-school for about 2 years and she was newly hired and I was a sinner unsaved and …she prayed for me for over 7 years for the Lord to come into my heart and save me…I was not always around her but she still prayed for me… At one time I moved to the other side of the country…about as far as I could go for my boyfriend was in the navy and was transferred to Florida while I was living in Washington state. ..We got engaged down their but he had no real belief in God and I believe the Lord made him break up with him. I started dating (my now husband) about a month later and boy did my friend not like that because she thought I did not give myself enough time but I did date and it was a very good thing because eventually I married and this made me want children right away though before marriage I honestly did not think that I would have children and did not think much about it until I got married (also, I later found out that my husband’s good friend worked with my friend before she came to work with me) Often I would go to a women’s bible study class with her. Then in the first few months after I had my first baby, I felt the pull to be with Christian people more and more ( having a child makes you ponder what you are responsible for in that child‘s life…I felt responsible for my child‘s life and now I am responsible for my 4 children‘s lives which…I take seriously that responsibility and wanted then and of course now for my children to be safe and more so saved from eternal damnation…I wanted them to know God and his Son…I tell them of miracle that happened for my daughter, I tell them to pray to God continually by talking to God as if he is right by their side at all times and when they are not sure of what to do they pray to God…they pray for those they go to school with…They tell the Lord thank you for all that makes them happy…They sing to God and they hold hand with each other when they pray…When they sing to the Lord they shout out to him “I Love You God“ or “We Love You God“…If my eyes are closed my 5 year old will come up to me and ask me if I am praying…and sometimes she tells me we need to sing to God…She loves God…my oldest who is 9 has a desire to please God without me telling him to all the time…we were watching a movie last year and it had s few bad words in it and he turned around and looked at me with a not so nice look and said “Mom, should we be watching this….I asked him if he thought we should and he said “No“…we turned it off and I told him how proud I was of him and how proud God must be of him for making such a wise choice…I told him that God is helping him to make better choices and I know that from time to time he thinks about the biggest step he will someday make and that is being baptized…he is not quite there yet but I think it will not be to much longer until he does make this choice. He desires to please God and sometimes asks me about something he did or will do and wants to know what God thinks about it…I tell him what I think but I also tell him to talk to God about it…Once when he was about 6 he had a boy in his class that would tease him and be mean to him and so my son told me about it and how it bothered him…I asked him if he wanted to pray for him and let God take care of the situation…I prayed first about it and then he did and we asked that this boy would be taken care of if there was something happening to him that made him so mean…The next day Jacob let me know that this boy was nicer to him and he even gave my son a piece of candy…we praised God about this. How great is God? Jacob‘s faith was strengthened because of this…My kids love god and they show it…I see it and God must see it too…this is a faith builder for me too…My children have more faith at the ages they are (3,5,7 and 9) than I did when I was first married (25). How great is that? They are more compassionate of others…even people they do not like…My kids who can read will pick up a Bible without me saying anything…They have a persistent need to know our Lord…in this they are enabled by God…I have faith about this.)…And so I dragged my husband and baby to weekly meetings at a Christian couple’s house…these meetings were known as life group meetings with singing, Bible study and prayers. Jacob when he was only just 1 would sing the “Bible Song” just because he liked it…so Jacob made it a joy to be around other Christians but It was such a fight to get my husband to go to these gatherings and Eventually to church…it was placed upon my heart to want to know Jesus better and more intimately and while I would sleep I would have dreams about Jesus and how he was not the Son of God…this was very confusing to me and I was afraid to tell anyone about this…I now believe that Satan was fighting for my soul and did not want me to be baptized…I had never doubted that Jesus was the son of God…On the way to the place that I would be baptized at I found that there were several obstacles in the way and it was difficult to make it there on time…but I finally committed my life to God and was baptized (by emersion ) in February, 1997. Before being baptized I searched out the bible for reasons to be baptized even though I had been baptized as an infant…for many years I did not want to think that I needed to be baptized by emersion because then I would have to face the fact that I had never been saved and not only that but my family had never been saved either. My friend was patient with me and prayed for me often and she never gave up hope ( since I was baptized her walk with God has gotten better and better … for she was very close to me and I am sure she was held back from growing in her faith…May God bless her for that… If her mom hadn‘t died when my friend was 17...well I probably would not have met her and when I chose the day I wanted to be baptized I found out this was the day after the date of when my friend‘s mother died…and I had one of those Christian calendars that show one day at a time and is reusable and after I was baptized I found out that the date I was baptized had a phone # on it that my husband had written on a couple years earlier) I was very surprised when my husband was baptized on Easter Sunday of the same year. Even before I was saved I could see the connections that God was making in my life and how he could influence my life for the good. It was not long after I was baptized that I could tell the Lord was using the Holy Bible to talk to me and teach me and eventually make me aware of future events. It started out small and as I learned to recognize the voice of God , I was given more bigger and mightier revelations. He (God) would make me notice different things that I would see or hear or even smell…things that later He would point out in The Word as he guided me through the Bible. I would be given dreams and I would be led through scripture with repetitive ideals…Then there would come to pass that the dreams and scripture pointed to. It took me a while to realize that the Lord was preparing me to recognize his thoughts about the future. Unfortunately my church did not talk about all the Gifts of the Spirit…the pastors and elders encouraged us to use our Spiritual Gifts but they did not tell us about all of the gifts that God blessed people with. I did not know at first that God wanted me to tell others about what I knew from God. I am not sure why I hesitated to do so…eventually I started to tell my friend and my husband and a few others about things that I was dreaming about and about coming across different verses from the Holy Bible (though I did not tell them about the times I would smell something that was not around me and it would be about something I was going to learn about soon) that pointed to the same thing…like when I was coming to stories from the Bible over and over about those who would have twins and it would be unexpected and it would be something from God…I told my friend about this and she hoped it was not her…then I mentioned this to my mom and she informed me that my cousin’s wife was expecting twins even though she had her tubes tied a few years earlier…this is what God was telling me about. Another time my husband and I were looking to buy a house and we put a bid on it and that night I had a dream about being at this house and going to a closet and seeing a hole in the floor and I went down it and then I came to some people who said that they were going to buy it instead…It was if my dream was telling me that this was not for us…and of course the next day someone else had a better offer and bought it instead. The very first time I knew the Lord was speaking to me through the Word was when he taught me about Moses and what the Lord did through him…I now know that it was because the Lord would do things through me. Once when my friend and her husband were having marriage problems I told them that by this time next year they would be pregnant again…They both did not want anymore children and just laughed at me (I don’t know why I said it at the time but I know now that it was God telling them) Of course even though they practiced planned parenthood…God had another thing in mind for them…and before she had the baby they had an ultrasound done and had hoped to find out if it was a boy of girl but they were not able to…about a week before my friend had her baby I had a dream about her…I dreamed that she was at home and just doing things around her house and then I was at the hospital and she was in bed in active labor and not feeling very good and then I was back at her home and asked her “why are you at home when you should be at the hospital… because you are in labor”. She just shrugged at me and I then noticed that there was a hospital bed in the middle of her living room…then I was back at the hospital and my friend gave birth to a baby with black hair down to her knees…the baby was a girl. I did not tell my friend about this dream until after she had her baby. This is what happened to her…the day she had her baby she was in active labor and did not know it for her first two labors were painfully apparent to her and very long…but she was at home doing things around the house and did not know she was in labor and then late in the evening she finally could feel some very painful contractions that were close enough together and she did not feel right so she went straight to the hospital and before she could even get signed in the baby was coming out…oops! My friend had a girl with black hair…it all happened just like I dreamed. Another time the Lord led me through scripture that pointed to someone I knew who would be wanted by a king …after a while I was aloud to know that this was about my husband and so I told him that someone important would want him to work for them…my husband had been working his own home business for several years and the business was not doing so good. We prayed about it and though I did not feel we had been faithful enough with the money he gave to us he still care what happened to us…so, when I was in the shower one morning he (my husband) came into the bathroom and was all excited and told me how one of the local news stations had called him and wanted him to come in for an interview…Dan had not applied for a job there since over a couple of years earlier…and they would have thrown his resume away after a year on file…he went in for an interview and they hired him…this news station was KING 5 NEWS…I reminded Dan about the prophetic insight God had given to me and he also thought that it had to come from God…I know it was. Another time I was led through scripture again that made me believe that someone important in the church would have an unexpected baby…I told my friend about it and she hoped it was not her (LOL…I did not tell her that she was not that important in the church…not that I thought that God did not think she was special or important)…a few months later I found out the wife of my church’s children’s minister was expecting a baby …for many years they had been trying to have a baby and finally gave up and adopted a baby boy…but they got pregnant and had a girl…God is so good to his people. Those are just a few of the things that the Lord God aloud me to know about in advance and I know his voice very well…God was constantly on my case about making right choices in my life…this does not sound very nice but it was very hard dieing to myself and it was as if God wanted me to change immediately…like I said, it was hard going through the change…And back in June of 2002, I had been given many scriptures that led me to believe the end was coming…I wanted to warn people and I asked the people who are at my church to pray for the country because I believed something terrible was going to happen…it did happen …but not to anyone but me…I was at a point in my walk with God where I felt his presence more and more and finally the day I expected something to happen the Lord showed up…in me…I at first just knew what the Lord was saying without hearing his voice and then within a few minutes I could actually hear his voice…not with my ears but with my heart and brain…I did not think that there was anything wrong with me mentally although I have had problems with depression off and on all of my life…The Lord was talking to me and I was overjoyed and knew that it was something I needed to tell others about…I went in to my bedroom to tell my husband about it and you would not believe what came out of my mouth…not what I expected…And I knew that even though it sounded like me it was not me talking…It was the Lord Jesus and right away he accused my husband of having cheated on me the night before…I was shocked and started to cry because I immediately believed this to be true because of what HE was saying through me and also the emotions that were his…Such deep emotions. I later found out about 3 weeks later he had indeed cheated on me and blamed me because the night before this all happened I had gone to the store and bought over $300.00 worth of groceries ( Dan and I never bought more then about half of that amount) to be prepared for the end and I had it in my heart to obey the Lord no matter what…so I tithed from what was in the checking account and this made my husband very angry and he stormed out of the house…This is what caused him to cheat on me…I was heart broken and elated all at the same time. Then the bad stuff happened…the Lord told me that even though it would seam as if he wasn’t with me at times…he would be near and would never leave me entirely…I then started to hear many voices that were confusing and made me wonder what was going on…As the days went by I was admitted to a mental hospital and stayed there for a few weeks…During this time I would hear voices that told me terrible things like there was not heaven but only hell and that Satan was God and he would make me do terrible things like kill my children and he tried to get me to deny Jesus…and one day all over my body I felt an extreme burning that felt like fire on my skin…I was terrified…I thought this was how my life would be from then on and over a period of about 10 weeks I felt tortured by Satan himself…It can not be explained the terror I constantly felt. Many times over the weeks I was mentally and physically tortured by something I could not see and one of the worst parts about it was not being able to tell anyone about what I was going through…It was hell on earth…A person can not comprehend what it was like unless they themselves have lived it…I am not sure why but eventually the torture improved and I began to enjoy life a little bit here and there…but even after the 10 weeks of torture I had no control of what I did or said and especially what I thought. One day the Lord made himself known to me again (this was a surprise) and for the most part has been with me ever since as an Angel of the Lord…He made things get better and the more I practiced my faith the more I felt better…All that time I was going through the torture I could not practice my faith…when he was not there Satan made want to die and I started to think that if I died I would go to heaven and so several times I tried to commit suicide ( I would not recommend this to anyone) by overdosing on medications and though the Drs could not understand it I did not die like I should have and not only that I did not have any damage to any of my internal organs…And this was very surprising to all. After this I came to understand that I was one who poison would not harm. While I was in the hospital (after each suicide attempt) I would share my faith with other patients and this was a blessing for me. All this time that this nightmare was going on I knew it was not just a mental illness and it was hard knowing this and yet pretending to all that I was not ill but was being tortured and tempted by Satan just like Job was…fortunately the Lord did not take away my family by death though I was without my children and husband for many months and eventually I felt the nightmare was over…Though my children are with my husband and I am separated from my husband and I live with my mom and dad. That is good because I know that because of this my parents will be delivered…Back in July, 04, the Lord started to lead me through scripture again and I started to have dreams again and then in November of 04 I started having visions…Many things have come to pass but mostly just personal things…though I knew something terrible would happen in December and was led to believe it would happen by Christmas day…I thought it would happen locally but was not sure…I knew that it would be after the bells stopped ringing and I knew that there would not be any water to drink…I was so concerned about this I went out to buy 2 very large camping type water containers to save water for an emergency. I told my son that I thought something would happen by Christmas that would be so very terrible and after the tsunami happened I told my son that it was what I was talking about and he said “But mom, it happened the day after Christmas” and I said, “It was still Christmas where we live when it happened” and he said “ oh” …also before November I told my mom that there would be a great drought somewhere this Winter…The tsunami ruined all fresh drinking water supplies that made it as though there was a drought. When I started to tell other people outside of my family about what God was starting to reveal to me the Lord began to reveal more and more Truths from the Bible. It has now come to my attention that the Lord made me go through the fire to come out on the other side as a refined precious metal molded into a vessel that only the Angel of the Lord can fill and use. ..that can be used by the Lord…so that my body could be used by the Lord to tell people what he wants them to know…I do not feel worthy but I know now how to distinguish between the voice of truth and the voice of false-hood. I have only reported a small fraction of my life and especially what has happened in my life since that amazing day back on June 15th , 2002. Every day is a good day now and the Lord reveals his hidden thoughts to me everyday…he is here guiding me and I am attacked by Satan’s demons all the time but that is getting better too since I denounce that which comes from the evil one and I don’t listen to false words from false- gods. My faith is so incredible and I know that I am ok…though I am not with my children I know that is the will of God so that I can serve him and him only…it will not be very long before I have my children with me again. God keeps me from feeling sad and he has remained faithful to me and surprises me and blesses me everyday…He blessed me with a laptop computer (which I have wanted for several years) and I use it to serve the Lord God everyday. I would like to have all of this over with but I am not going to complain for I know that I will be ok and so will my family. God has so much more to tell his people who have been elected to be kept safe on the Day of the Lord. Of late, the most important thing I have learned is that God wants our love (not surprising) but he wants us to show this love for him by obeying the teachings of Lord Jesus Christ. He tells us that if we love him we will obey. Also, those who are living in sin by disobeying Jesus are not able to distinguish between the voice of Truth and the voice of false-hood. In fact these who are like this can not understand and believe a Truth that is new to them if it comes from a person who does know the voice of God…for the Truths being revealed to me are not what most are used to. These truths are in the Bible and though God gives me several different scriptures that apart mean one thing to most but when added together they are a bit different…It was even revealed to me that God has a secret knowledge that he has saved and would reveal to those who love him and those who love him are those who live their lives to obey the teachings of Jesus. This is key in knowing what God knows: 1 Corinthians 2:6-16. In short this means that God has secrets hidden from before the world was created and was saved until the End Times for those who love him…these things God will reveal to certain people representing different parts of the body of Christ…and the Lord finally told me several days back that I am an ear for the body of Christ. You see, God led me to scripture telling in 1 Samuel 3:11 This:

And the Lord said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle.

This was revealed to me about 3 months after I started to feel what I call an icy/hot sensation that is very much like a tingle on my skin. This feeling is on my body when the Lord wants me to be aware of him and also when he is or soon will reveal something to me…it is not always in the same place and it will become quite intense at times and I can also tell when the Lord is angry at what someone says to me and even when he wants to get my attention to keep me from sinning…I don’t like it all the time but it is comforting…and it is so much better then feeling like my skin is on fire.

I used to want everyone to know about what has been revealed to me and I tried like crazy to contact as many Christians as I could and I finally understood that God did not want me to do all the work…I should not try to help God do something that without my help he could do a better job…I have to slow down and let him do the driving. When I try to figure out things on my own about The Holy Word I get very confused and can’t understand anything that I read. God is very patient with me and for the most part now I do not run ahead of God trying to do without him that which I can’t possibly do…He humbles me daily and I am so excited about what is happening daily with him and what is to come ( it will be hard for so many people when the Day of the Lord comes upon them) God will protect the elect and those who call upon his name…But all that will happen will not be understood by most to be the Day of the Lord…I have dreams daily about things that will happen…I dreamed about being in an Asian café type place a while back and their food was killing many people and there were also things hidden behind a wall that would be used to kill people…It might be about the bird flu going on in Asian countries and it might be about something that is hidden in Asia. I might as well tell you that the Lord told me that Easter this year would be the end of something old and big and the beginning of something new and big. And I had a vision of the month of June with a blank day. As things in the world become more and more chaotic these next few months do not be alarmed…just be ready!


The Lord willing you will be ready.
Love from your sister in Christ,

Christine


www.4the144k.com